Wherein we changed the CMS.
Changing one's CMS (Content Management Software) is possibly one of the scariest things that a blogger with hundreds of comments, automations, and modifications can possibly do. Although it wasn't a far jump to go from WordPress to ClassicPress. We still took all the precautions, despite lots of warning messages. We're happy to report that using the migration tool ran as well on the local beta-mirror as it did in our production site.
Special thank you to @colinstu@birdbutt.com on Mastodon for showing me that there IS an option away from WordPress.
Read on if you wish to continue listening to us ranting into oblivion.